Friday, November 26, 2004
Oxford Latest Deafinitions...
The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words :
DIVORCE : Future tense of marriage
CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with a fire at one
end and a fool on the other.
LECTURE: An art of transferring information for the notes of
the lecturer to the notes of the students without
passing through the minds of either.
CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.
TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power
is defeated by feminine water power.
DICTIONARY: A place where success comes before work.
CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.
CLASSIC: A book, which people praise, but do not read.
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. My Filipino
uncle's name too...
OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous
YAWN: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
A Filipino word meaning "that's it" in English
ETC.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together. A Filipino word with
multiple meanings, it can be sweet potato, or it itches...or a
slang for a dumb person.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes.
ATOM BOMB: An invention to end all inventions.
PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.
OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from the Eiffel Tower says
in midway, "See, I'm not injured yet."
MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. Also a "CAt"
FATHER: A banker provided by nature.
CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the rest ... except that he got
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you
are early. A person who is synonymous to a diaper.
POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your
DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills and and then kills you
with his bills.
This is not derived from erap's dyoksyunari..